My husband and I stopped at Village Inn for a late dinner after a long day. I felt so excited to just sit with him for a few minutes and have my favorite cheese fries. While pulling into the driveway of the restaurant I had a moment of clarity…we are so busy and get so caught up in that, that we forget that it’s moments like this that are the important ones. Not only do we need to create those opportunities, we need to realize that they are happening and appreciate and savor them.

“Savor life and all its magic” Unknown

I think it’s easy to fall into the thought process that the trips, the big dinner parties and the planned events are the special times. These are important but the small moments like stopping by for a few minutes to visit, a quick text or phone call to check in, or a last minute invite to lunch or dinner, those are the moments that matter the most. We are taking time to acknowledge that we love someone and want to spend time with them. When we receive those small gestures we need to recognize that the other person is taking a moment to say I love you. We all need to learn to savor and appreciate those moments and not take them for granted.

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” Vincent Van Gogh

When we have thoughts to check in with someone, take a few minutes to call or text them. I feel strongly that when we have a thought and especially if it persists, we need to follow through. Our instincts are usually right and it is very possible that the person you are thinking of needs to hear that they are loved. I like that we can text, it’s a quick way to check in or ask a question. I think that we need to appreciate those text messages when we receive them. I know I love it when my kids and my mom send me a text just to say I love you, it makes my heart happy and makes my day. But I also think sometimes we need to take time to call, write a letter or see someone in person when possible. I’ll be honest, I am not a phone call person, I get phone anxiety which may sound weird, but it is what it is and it is something I am working on. So if you receive a phone call from me, you’re kind of a big deal.

So remember to create those small moments and remember to savor them when someone else creates one. Try not to take the ones that take the time for you whether it be big or small for granted. Just a side note, the photo I used for this post was taken by my beautiful and talented daughter in law Lindsay. I chose it for this post because I feel like it captured me savoring a small moment with her. She was sweet enough to take some photos for the blog. She did a wonderful job and I feel like she captured me just being me. Thank you Lindsay!

Sending love to each of you. Thank you all for taking the time to read this today.

Be kind, it could be the sunshine that dries up someone’s rain.

My husband and I have a booth at a monthly flea market, it is hard work but so much fun. At this past Sunday’s market there were a lot of people, but one person stands out for me. A beautiful lady in her 60’s with soft long gray-blond hair that she wore in two braids and she was wearing a soft pink jacket. Beautiful smile and sweet spirit, I felt compelled to tell her how beautiful she is and how I love her hair. She hesitated for a moment, thanked me and told me that she really needed to hear that. She went on to tell me that she had been questioning herself lately, not knowing who she is and who she is supposed to be. I am so thankful that I spoke what I was feeling out loud to her. She said if nothing else she came to the market just for that, we gave each other a big hug, not one of those pat your back hugs, it was one of those hugs that you feel. I had a positive affect on her, but she also reminded me of my purpose. I have been so tired and so busy and putting off posting here on my blog. I have been questioning myself as well. I know what my purpose is, but I’ve been questioning how I am supposed to share it with you. Let’s just call it what it is, I have been overthinking. I want to share that the little things we do on a daily basis is what is important in our lives. These are the things that keep us mentally and spiritually healthy. The kindness we show to each other big or small is what we are here for. One comment can change someone’s day or possibly a life. Don’t hold back that kindness, give it away. And always remember the kindness you give should always start at home and spread from there. Kindness should not just be in your thoughts with strangers, it should be first and foremost with the ones you love on a daily basis.

It’s interesting how one word or a tone of voice can change a conversation between people. But something that also interests me is why do we take things personal? Is it the delivery of what is being said or do we need to take a moment before we respond? Is it the person speaking that needs to take a moment or is it a little of both? Taking things personal is something that I am constantly working on myself. I think in general people’s words and actions are not to intentionally hurt someone. I understand that not everyone has good intentions but for this post let’s focus on finding the good in people and assume that there is no malicious intent.

“Do I react, or do I respond?”

There is a term that my husband and I use for certain words or actions, we call them a “trigger”. I think if we can identify our own “triggers” and why they bring out a certain emotion in us it can help us to both speak and respond differently without taking things personally. There is absolutely no way for us to always be happy and not get a little annoyed like when we are hungry, or maybe need a nap, but I honestly think naming these “triggers” can help avoid unnecessary conflict.

“Do small things with great love” Mother Teresa

My husband recently had an opportunity to find out his style of communication is to lecture. This was a little hard for him to hear at first, but he is always trying to improve himself, so I think after he was able to discuss it and process it, he appreciated that it was brought to his attention. I’ve noticed that he has been working on it. For example, being on time is very important to both of us, but if we are getting close to the time, we should be leaving it causes him to feel anxious, so I do my best not to keep him waiting. I know that he is feeling anxious when he starts asking if I’m ready. When he is anxious he will of course have a certain tone (as we all do) or he makes the noises I lovingly refer to as his mild form of Tourette’s (I hope not to offend but if you know him, he really does make noises and blurt out words and I honestly think he can’t help it). I have noticed that lately, he simply asks… “let me know when you’re 5 minutes out”. I think he knows that it is just as important to me to be on time, and that I have not let him down in the past. But, I also know that it is part of his personality to check in with where things are so I try not to get annoyed and let me say it’s a lot easier to stay patient when he asks with patience in his voice. So this little change can help this exchange of words between us not turn into me taking it personal and feeling like he is saying you are going to make us late! It’s just hey, I’m checking in, are you almost ready to go?

I hope this little post will get you thinking, what small changes can I make in how I communicate, or how I listen, am I taking things personally when I don’t need to? Why does that word or statement hit a spot for me? Maybe try to respond by repeating what you heard so you can make sure you are understanding what the other is saying. Sometimes we translate things differently than they are meant to come across. And if we bring it to the persons attention it may help them in how they communicate.