Are you listening?

Imagine a world that when we have a conversation we listen and speak with unconditional love. We listen with no judgment, and we don’t take things personal. We really hear what the other person is saying without worrying about how we will respond and we are granted the same kindness when speaking ourselves.

Imagine hearing what someone is telling you without making a snap judgement, this may help you understand what they are saying as well as how they are feeling and not assuming that it is directed toward you. Maybe taking a moment to think about this person and the possibility of what they have been through in their life, you may not know the experiences they have had, the knowledge they have acquired, the things they are learning from pain or traumas they may have been through. Imagine this being your parent, sibling, child, friend, family member or even a co-worker. We think we know what people close to us have been through, but do we honestly? I think we may have a general idea, but I think sometimes we forget that we haven’t always been in that persons life, spent 100% our time with them, so we don’t know every detail of feelings or experiences. If we could remember this when communicating with each other in every day situations it could make a difference in how our relationships grow.

“Your love will be safe with me”

In a recent post I mentioned that Wade and I have been cleaning house, finishing old projects and getting things in order. The same has been with our relationship, it has been interesting. It hasn’t even been on purpose, it has just happened naturally. And I just realized I am going to give credit to a morning ritual we have adjusted. When we drink our coffee we don’t sit in our living room anymore, now we sit at the table across from each other. No longer scrolling through our phones, actually talking. During the warm months we were sitting on our back patio and now at our kitchen table. We have communicated well for the majority of our relationship but we have recently opened up even more. Sharing mistakes from our past, hurt that we have experienced from others and each other. It hasn’t been argumentative, it has been completely about listening to each other with no judgement, no taking things personal, just sharing. We are both growing and I truly believe that we can all experience this if we will let our guard down and realize that we all have a story and some of the story may not have anything to do with ourselves. We all want the same thing and that is to be happy and healthy both physically and emotionally.  Next time you have a conversation that feels like it is escalating, maybe take just a moment to adjust your own attitude about listening and see if it makes a difference. This isn’t easy to do sometimes and it can take some time to make it a habit, and I’ll be honest this is something I am not perfect at, but it is something I try to be aware of. I think being aware of it is the first step.

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