You know what I love about relationships, and I don’t mean just romantic relationships I mean friendships as well as our relationships with family and even co-workers. I love that we stretch each other and challenge each other to grow. For example, I know a married couple and I see her as being a safe person and he is, well, I think he can be a hand full at times, and I mean this in the most loving way, because I adore him! I know neither of them are perfect and there are things that go on between them that no one else has any idea about. But when I see them, I see how they balance each other.
She made me giggle because she saw a sign that said, “I’ll keep you safe, you keep me wild” and it reminded her of them. Because she is such a safe person, in my mind I was thinking that doesn’t seem to apply to them. She isn’t wild, so how would he keep her wild? But, I had an epiphany the other day, because she is safe, she does keep him safe, and he does keep her a little wild. They even each other out, because they are so different from each other. They stretch each other a bit and take each other out of their comfort zones. And that is what I love about them as a couple. I think that is what is fun about life, different personalities can take us out of our comfort zone and if we allow it, help us grow to be better people. Sometimes the challenging personalities in our lives make us better because they help us to find out how to deal with things that make us feel uncomfortable, sometimes we learn what not to do, or even what type of person we don’t want to be. That lesson can be from either our own actions or the other persons actions.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”
I think it’s hard to remember when we are in the middle of a life challenge, maybe a challenge with a person that has a different personality than ours, that each of us just want to live the best life we can and be happy. It can be difficult to see the other persons perspective. We only know how we feel. And sometimes it can be difficult to explain what our heart is feeling and why. All we can do is try to be open with our thoughts and feelings as well as being open to listening. Listening is something that I am constantly working on. I read the quote “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” years ago and it really made me think, I try very hard to remember it when I am having a conversation. I don’t always succeed but it is something I am aware that I need to work on, just ask my husband.
Basically, what I want to say is that we should celebrate our differences, realize we each have our strengths. Each of us has our own lessons to learn and lessons to teach (whether we know it or not). When challenges do come up between us we need to take a step back, and sometimes take a deep breath and really listen to each other with the intent to understand and respect that we are each our own person with our own thoughts and feelings, and we are here to enhance each other, not to control each other.